trolls.

[a special thanks goes out to all the nice young men who contributed to this post.]

i have two teenage brothers and some guy friends who talk comfortably around me about girls. i've learned from this that the lowest status a girl can have in a guy's eyes is that of "troll". now, first of all, what does "troll" mean? it simply means an unattractive chick.
true, guys are typically at least a little shallow. but most guys in reality are not looking for a perfect girl. however, i do know that pretty much all guys are looking for a girl who isn't "troll". and most girls don't want to be unattractive, so i thought i'd expound a little bit on the matter to help everybody out here.

what things would classify a girl as "troll"?
when asked this question, i got the following answers from single young guys aged 15-29:

• "chewing gum loudly", "eating with gross noises", "belching and farting"
• "trying to talk to guys higher on the scale than they are"
• "weird hair styles such as mohawks or short hair", "boy haircuts", "hair above shoulders...for most girls", "oily hair", "no attempt at making hair look nice"
• "punk-emo clothing", "unclean clothes"
• "they have made it evident that they have 'let themselves go'", "look gross", "a girl that doesn't take care of herself", "doesn't have personal hygiene"
• "likes troll guys, but if they go for non-troll guys, that makes them more of a troll cuz then they are a creepy troll"
• "overweight"
• "thinks they can do 100 push-ups...they can't"
• "have an annoying laugh: too high or too deep, evil sounding or uncontrollable"
• "eats a lot", "eats as much or more than a boy", "likes food too much"
• "thinks they are a disney princess"
• "cries for stupid reasons"
• "likes dogs, cats, or any animals too much and acts like animals are people"
• "wears gross swimming suits when they have gross bodies", "wears gross clothing that reveals parts of their bodies that make people want to throw up"
• "redneck girls who talk like a hick and wear tank tops and short shorts"
• "bad teeth"
• "leg hair, armpit hair, or a mustache"
• "doesn't wear makeup most of the time. some girls can get away with it but most cannot", "wears too much makeup"
• "a punk girl who drinks monsters and wears skimpy clothes and hangs out with punk boys who say the 'f' word"
• "announces that they are on their period"
• "tries too hard to be funny"
• "a girl who acts black when she's  not"
• "any girl that cheats on someone...that is as low as it can get"
• "no girls are trolls...just daughters of God :)" sorry, i only know of 2 guys out there who actually think like this, so you'll have to disregard this particular answer.
• "a really bad personality"
• "a girl who gets around a lot", "skankyness"
• "pink hair, hairy feet, eats children, living under a bridge eating billy goats"
• "thinks she is cute when really she isn't"
• "never stops talking"
• "4-foot nothin, brown teeth, 600 pounds"
• "tall and really big boned or a girl who doesn't care about what she looks like day to day"
• "socially awkward and will laugh at really stupid things, also known to talk about bodily functions freely and with no remorse"
• "bizzo attitude", "bitchy", "really mean"
• "smell bad, have excessive amounts of hair, teeth aren't fairly straight"
• "perverts, use curse words, or say gross things"
• "live under a bridge"
• "a combination of an awful, typically grumpy personality, and what i would call a frumpy appearance"
• "an ugly girl who thinks she's some hot stuff. so she dresses like she's hot, talks like she's hot, and even addresses herself as being hot"

well, there you have it. if you are a girl who attributes to a few of these things (i am), no worries I'm sure you're fine. if you attribute to most or all of this list...you should be aware that you might be a troll.

-kandi